


No Going Back

by haldoor



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 12:09:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haldoor/pseuds/haldoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Warnings/Spoilers:</b> None for the show<br/><b>Disclaimer:</b> Still don't own these characters or the show; no money exchanged hands<br/><b>Beta:</b> The always willing and able <span class="ljuser i-ljuser"></span><a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://siluria.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://siluria.livejournal.com/"></a><b>siluria</b>.  Thank you, my dear<br/><b>Summary:</b> Steve gets drunk and lets down his guard; Danny has unexpected feelings about it.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	No Going Back

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThatwasJustaDream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/gifts).



> Written for [](http://thtwzjustadream.livejournal.com/profile)[**thtwzjustadream**](http://thtwzjustadream.livejournal.com/) for the [](http://1-million-words.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://1-million-words.livejournal.com/)**1_million_words** Swap of Joy. Dreamy was hoping for someone to be hit by the cluestick; this came to me just in time, though it took rather longer to finish and was a few more words than intended. Can't say I'm really complaining as it makes for words for the comm.! YAY!

"So I told him… I told him… that there was no way…"

Steve was slurring his words, and Danny wasn't even sure he had a firm grasp of the story he was attempting to tell, but he nodded anyway. He was a few drinks behind, having ensured he ordered ginger ale whenever he was the one getting the drinks. Someone had to make sure they got home safely, and while he probably should have ordered ginger ale for Steve as well, he knew he wasn't likely to get away with it since Steve had been hell-bent on getting drunk.

In all honesty, Danny didn't blame him. Since Doris had taken off and failed to keep in touch, Steve had been kind of obsessed with trying to work out exactly what her involvement with Wo Fat really was.

The almost disappointed look on his face when blood tests showed he and Wo Fat weren't related had been more than Danny could bear, and his offer to take Steve out for a few beers had turned into 'it would be a good idea to get completely shitfaced' after the first few rounds.

"I mean, seriously, like I would risk it… no way, not _there_ ," Steve was saying now.

"Wait, wait…" Danny waved a hand to slow Steve down. Maybe he'd had a few more beers than he remembered, because he'd completely lost track of the story Steve was telling about some down-time where he and a few of his buddies had been visiting some bar somewhere and got talking to a couple of local women. "What exactly did he ask you to do?"

"Dare, Danny; it was a dare, not an 'ask'."

"Okay, all quibbling aside, what was this dare?"

"Jesus, where did you come in on this story, Danny? I already told you, he saw this kid watching me, and he _dared_ me to go ask the kid to dance."

"Dance? A kid?"

"Yeah, like… eighteen or something, but… one thing you don't do in a Muslim country, Danny, is ask someone that young to dance somewhere like that. Much as I don't… don't like admitting it… it was the only dare I never took up." He smiled brightly, like there was some kind of infinite wisdom in the story that Danny should be able to see.

"Did you want to dance with the kid?" was all he could think to ask.

"No… you completely miss the point. I lost the bet."

Danny looked at Steve suspiciously. "I thought you said it was a dare."

"It was a dare. But before that, there was a bet."

"I think I missed that. You know what, though? I think maybe it's time we left and I poured you into bed."

Steve stood up a little too quickly for his current state of inebriation, and had to grab hold of the table to stop himself from falling over. "Whoa. Thought you'd never ask."

"Easy there, big fella," Danny told him, taking Steve by the elbow and guiding him towards the door.

By the time he maneuvered Steve out of the place and towards a nearby cab, Steve was humming softly to himself and holding onto Danny like he was scared he'd be abandoned. With difficulty, Danny detached himself, shoving Steve inside, and told the cab driver Steve's address as he got in after him.

Steve, his head resting against the seat back, muttered something, and Danny strained to hear.

"What's that, buddy?"

"You like to dance, Danny? I like to dance."

"Dance? You do? I suppose that yes, I like to dance. About as much as your average guy, I suppose, which is to say, not much, although given the right circumstances and partner, I don't mind it. Never figured you for a dancer though."

"I'm a great dancer," Steve told him, his face serious in that way that drunk people got when they honestly believed they could do whatever it was that they merely _thought_ they could do. Steve's eyes were beginning to droop though, which wasn't surprising considering the late hour and how much alcohol he'd consumed, so Danny didn't think he'd be up to much dancing tonight.

"Okay," Danny smiled broadly, imagining Steve with two left feet. "One day, I would very much like to see you dance, but somehow I don't think that today is that day."

"I'd dance… w'you," Steve muttered and closed his eyes.

Danny shook his head, sure he'd misunderstood, and then smiled at how goofy Steve looked asleep and drunk, a stupid smile crossing his handsome features.

The remainder of the ride was quiet, apart from gentle snoring coming from Steve's side of the cab. Danny worried at his lip as they neared Steve's house; how was he going to get the big lunk inside?

But he needn't have worried, as Steve lurched awake when the car stopped.

"No, not the kid," Steve spat, blinking widely and jerking back awkwardly as he caught sight of Danny. "Where are we?"

"Home, Steve; your place," Danny explained gently, wondering what Steve had been dreaming about. "Come on, let's get you inside, then I'll go home too."

"Don't."

Steve let Danny help him out of the cab, despite the comment. "Don't what, Steve?"

Danny had an arm around Steve's waist to help him stay upright as they made their way up the path to the door. Steve slung his arm around Danny's shoulder and turned his face towards Danny's ear. "Don' go. I can't stay alone now. Stay, huh?"

"What are we gonna do if I stay?"

Steve started fiddling with Danny's collar, breathing heavily against his ear, which was sending a disconcerting shiver down his neck. "We could… dance?"

Danny huffed a laugh. "You, my friend, can barely put one foot in front of the other to _walk_ into your house, and you think you can dance?"

"Mmm," Steve nodded, still pressed against Danny.

Danny decided it was the drink talking and ignored him. "Here's the door, Steve. Where's your key?"

"Pocket," Steve announced, breathing wet air into Danny's ear. "You got nice ears."

"Oh yeah, I been told that. Which pocket?"

"Left," Steve got out, sending yet another shiver down Danny's spine; a not altogether unpleasant one at that, though Danny told himself he really should not be feeling anything like it. Danny dug around in Steve's left cargo pocket, but nothing like a key seemed to be in it.

"You sure it's the left pocket?"

"What… Danny, why's your hand there?"

"You told me the key was in there," Danny explained patiently.

"No key," Steve slurred, shaking his head. "No' there. S'in my other pocket."

"Jesus, you have about twenty pockets on these pants, Steve. Could you be more specific?" Danny was starting to get a little annoyed, and he still had the cab driver to pay – and more hopefully, have him take Danny back to his own place once he'd got Steve inside and lying down.

"Here," Steve patted one of the right-hand pockets on his pants.

"Can you get it out?"

"Come and get it," Steve grinned.

"This isn't a game, Steven. Get the key and I'll open the door and dump your heavy ass on the couch so I can leave."

"Nope." Steve shook his head, a stubborn expression crossing his face.

"What do you mean, nope?"

"Not giving you the key, 'less you stay. S'lonely in there; no one home. I need you t'stay, keep me comp'ny. Maybe a little dance."

"Excuse me? What's with the desire to dance tonight? All this time I've known you and I don't ever remember you wanting to dance before."

Steve's look went from stubborn to petulant, and then to lost boy in about ten seconds flat, and Danny felt his heart melting the way it seldom did for anyone else. "Okay, I'll stay. But no dancing!" He held up a finger.

"S'a deal," Steve nodded gratefully, and began digging in his pocket, offering Danny a small ball of string, a chain of five paperclips, a marker pen and then, finally the key.

"Yay," Danny said, handing the other items back and propping Steve against the wall as he unlocked the door. Thankfully, Steve managed to stay where he'd been placed, although the look in his eyes was a little disconcerting. "Come on; let's get you settled inside."

"Thanks, man."

Danny had to manhandle Steve to get him indoors, but somehow managed to deposit him in a seated position on the couch. He headed for the door, and was almost out through it when Steve spoke again.

"You're not going, are you?" He sounded so scared that Danny was abandoning him; it was all Danny could do to answer him without reverting to annoyed parent mode.

"I'm going to pay the cab driver, Steve. I'll be right back."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die." Danny made the appropriate hand motions, and went to pay the guy who by now had probably clocked up twice what the journey to Steve's had actually cost.

By the time he got back to Steve, rather than being asleep as Danny had imagined, Steve was loading a CD in the player, humming to himself again.

"Seriously?" Danny asked as the strains of 'More Than a Woman' started up. "Of all the songs you could choose, that's the one you want to listen to now?"

"S'a classic love song, Danno, and perfect for a slow dance. C'mere?" He gestured for Danny to approach him.

"No," Danny said, holding up both hands. "I am not slow-dancing with you to 'More Than a Woman', Steve."

Steve looked slightly put out, but he offered, "You wanna choose another song?"

Danny blinked in stunned surprise. "Are you short on a few brain cells? No, I don't want to slow-dance with you, no matter what the song is." Steve's face fell, and oddly, Danny felt guilty. "Look, Steve, it's late and I just want to sleep now. You are very drunk and if we slow-dance tonight, in the morning, you'll feel extremely stupid for having done it – if you even remember the experience. I know _I'll_ feel stupid about it."

"I won't," Steve said, giving the puppy-dog eyes.

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"The eyes." Danny gestured, already beginning to feel like he should just give in to the guy.

"I wanted to dance with that kid, but I couldn't. I could dance with you; nobody's here to care."

"I didn't think they even let their young women out in public," Danny said by way of a delaying tactic.

"Woman? I said kid; _he_ was cute too."

Danny frowned; it had never occurred to him that Steve had meant the 'kid' was a _guy_. Somehow, he'd just assumed Steve was using the term simply because the _girl_ had been so young.

"Cute?" Danny said, trying to convince himself that he was somehow misunderstanding what Steve was admitting about that night. He couldn't even let his brain move forward far enough to accept what that suggested about Steve's insistence on slow-dancing with Danny now.

"Cute, Danno, like you. I really wanted to dance with him." Steve looked close to tears suddenly. "Please, Danny, just once? We don't have to talk about it tomorrow at all. Just forget it, like I was too drunk to know what I was asking…" He looked at Danny's face, and then sat down heavily, covering his face. "I'm sorry. I just… I'm sorry."

It was like being hit by a piece of two-by-four.

"This was just an excuse. I am very blind and very stupid, aren't I?"

"No, Danny… no. I shouldn't have, I know." Steve looked up, his eyes imploring Danny for forgiveness. "It's killing me. In here." He patted his chest, blinking rapidly and taking breaths like he was holding back tears.

Clearly, whilst not as full-on drunk as he'd been making out, Steve had still imbibed enough to lessen at least some of his inhibitions, not to mention his inner sad drunk. Danny had a sudden flash of the self-control he must have been exhibiting up till now if this was how he genuinely felt.

Danny shook his head and moved to sit down next to Steve on the couch.

"How long, babe? How long have you been feeling like this, and how long have I been too stupid to see?"

Steve shook his head, studying his knees with an intentness that made Danny want to reach out and grab hold of him. Maybe he'd had too much to drink himself, but Steve's admission wasn't quite as off-putting as he would have thought.

"Steve?"

Managing a brief, sad look in Danny's direction before he shrugged and went back to the study of his own legs, Steve muttered something Danny couldn't make out, and then put his head in his hands.

"What?" Danny asked, torn between wanting to know and not wanting to know.

"You're the only one who stays."

Danny's eyebrows went up and he opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't find any words.

Steve turned slowly, finally meeting his eyes, and Danny was shocked to see actual tears in them. "Everyone else leaves me eventually." Steve half-laughed. "Even Wo-Fat."

Danny tried to make a joke of it to lessen his discomfit. "Yeah, but him, you want to leave. Imagine the body count if he stayed." It was weak for him, but his brain wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders.

"I'm sorry, Danny. You should probably go now."

What it cost Steve to utter the words when he so very clearly wanted the complete opposite was hard to judge, but it immediately made Danny reject the idea. "No, I'm gonna stay."

Steve lifted his head to look at Danny like he'd lost his senses. "Why?"

Danny put a hand on Steve's shoulder and tried to smile. "Because a friend doesn't leave a friend alone when they need company. I'll make coffee, huh?" He made to stand up, but Steve grabbed his arm before he could finish the movement.

For a second, Steve just looked at him, and then, before Danny realized his intent, he was suddenly kissing Danny. It was a little sloppy, but it was gentle and incredibly sweet somehow, like he was offering the only thing he had and didn't want to push Danny too much more than he already had. Danny didn't resist, but after a moment, Steve pulled away, his face crumpling into sadness.

"Hey," Danny said, and when Steve looked at him, tears shining in his eyes, something inside Danny twisted. The last thing he wanted was for Steve to suffer any pain from him after all he'd been through with his mother and the others he was clumping together under 'they all leave in the end'. "Come here." Reaching out, he wrapped his arms around Steve, who hesitated for a moment, then allowed himself to be pulled in, and rested his head on Danny's shoulder as Danny stroked his back.

"I'm so sorry," Steve repeated. "I hope you can forget all this tomorrow."

"What if I don't want to?"

Steve drew back, his brow furrowing in confusion. "What?"

"Look, maybe I'm a little drunk too, but… you're the best friend I ever had and I… seeing you like this; seeing what you want and…" Danny bit his lip as they looked at each other. What was he saying? "Now is maybe the wrong time, but… when you're sober – when we're both sober – maybe we should talk-"

"You don't know what you're saying."

"Steve… look, let's just get you to bed. I'll sleep on the couch, and tomorrow…"

"Tomorrow you'll hate me."

"Jesus Christ, Steven. What is with you? I try to tell you that I'm not completely against the idea, and you freak out on me. The last thing I want to do is take advantage of you when you're drunk and depressed. Maybe _you'll_ be the one who regrets it in the morning, anyway. Let's sleep apart tonight and talk about it again over breakfast. I mean, it's not like you don't-"

" _You_ take advantage of _me_?"

There was a disbelieving grin trying to take hold on Steve's face, and the sight of it warmed Danny's heart. He had always had an appreciation of how attractive Steve was with a smile on his face, but until now he hadn't ever thought about why that was.

"You complete goof. Of all I've been saying, that's what you pick up on?"

"I want to go to bed with you, Danny. I don't care if it's just sleeping tonight; you'd never take advantage of me."

Danny smiled tightly, his heart thumping faster all of a sudden. "Oh, I dunno. Or maybe I'm scared you'll take advantage of me."

"Are you? Scared? Of me? Of what might happen?"

Danny nodded. He chewed on his lip at the hurt returning to Steve's eyes. He shouldn't give the guy any false hope. If what Danny was beginning to feel was the real deal and not just drunken sympathy, he deserved to know where he stood.

"Steve, I… it's been a long time since I even fooled around with another guy. It wouldn't just be that with us, and I think you know it. I couldn't do it and just forget about it tomorrow. But… and this is not an outright no, I promise, it's just a 'let's get the beer out of our systems before we make any decisions we might regret', okay?"

Steve's hopeful smile was back.

"Okay."

"Now, let's get you into the sack."

~//~

Danny was dreaming. It was a good sort of dream and he felt the smile grow on his face as the pleasure increased. Letting out a low moan as the lips circling his dick began to move in earnest, Danny wrapped a hand around the pillow, gripping it tightly, and pushed at the bedding with his other hand to let in some cool air. Gabby must be suffocating under there…

"Oh, God, yeah, like that… exactly-" Danny's words cut off as he felt the wet tongue flick the underside of his cockhead in a totally orgasm-inducing way, and then he was sucked in deeper. It was too late to stop himself from coming; he bucked wildly, only stopped from thrusting deeply inside the mouth on him by the puzzlingly strong hands holding him down. "Oh God, oh God, oh God…" he muttered as the spirals of pleasure slowly receded.

Blinking his eyes open, he gazed downwards in confusion as he tried to work out where he was. Danny's heart did a flip as his eyes met the very self-satisfied grin on the face of the person between his legs.

"Steve." He knew he probably looked panicked, but a part of him was still going 'wow, that was one hell of a blow-job'.

"Good morning, Danno." Steve's voice was lower than normal and the tone sent a shiver right through Danny. Or maybe it was Steve's thumbs stroking erotically over his hipbones.

"Uh… weren't we going to talk about this before you took advantage of me?"

Steve's expression went vaguely guilty as he flipped off Danny and lay flat on his back next to him, gesturing at the ceiling. "I didn't think… I mean, you looked so… good, lying there, smiling, your dick at attention." He risked a glance at Danny, his frown growing at whatever he saw in Danny's eyes. "I'm not asking you to reciprocate."

Ripples of the excitement Danny had felt during the blowjob were still settling in his extremities. "Okay, good to know. But seriously, you're telling me you don't need-"

"Already taken care of," Steve said, cutting him off.

Danny narrowed his eyes, shifting upwards on the pillow. "What?"

"I already… Jesus, Danny, you were naked; I just… you know." Steve avoided his eyes, gesturing vaguely before throwing the sheet back and making to get out.

Oddly, disappointment coursed through Danny. He grabbed Steve's arm. "Hey! I'm not… Christ, Steve; I thought we… I should have known, though." There was no way to go back from this, if Danny was totally honest.

"Look, forget it." Steve shook Danny's hand off his arm and reached for something on the floor, pulling shorts on as he stood up and half-turned to look back at Danny, redness creeping up his neck. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. Jesus, you told me last night and I… I should have had more self-control. I just wanted one time-"

"No, Steve, no!" Danny sat upright as if to get out of bed, but remembering his nudity, cast a look around the room, seeking his own pants. They were on a chair across the room. He scratched his head and stayed where he was. Now he thought about it, he vaguely remembered thinking Steve's room was too hot and that he really should just go downstairs and sleep on the couch, and then Steve insisting that nothing would happen that he didn't want. He must have been drunker than he thought last night if he'd ended up _naked_ in Steve's bed with him.

But now that he was…

"No, what, Danny?" Steve stood at the side of the bed, a hurt look on his face as he gazed back at Danny.

"It was good."

"Good?"

Danny gestured awkwardly himself, feeling the heat in his own skin. "The blowjob. I enjoyed it."

"No shit," Steve offered, sounding angry now.

"I want… I mean," Danny couldn't quite decide on the words. "That is to say, I was just surprised; I don't… _not_ want you."

"What?" Steve's scowl deepened.

"Okay." Danny held up his hands in surrender. "Look, for someone who prides himself on his ability to think clearly and put ideas into rational and meaningful language, I am finding this _very_ difficult, so give me a break here, huh?"

Steve's expression went from confused to a tiny smile in a few moments, like he had finally worked out what was going through Danny's head.

Danny rolled a hand in encouragement, hoping Steve might supply the words for him this one time.

"You want…" Steve started, tilting his head, his smile still tentative.

"You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"

Steve's lip finally quirked up properly, in that goofy way he had that always made Danny crazy, but usually meant he couldn't stop himself from giving in to whatever completely unrealistic idea it was that Steve had in mind. Only this time, maybe it wasn't so unrealistic.

"Mmhmm." Steve crossed his arms over his chest and quirked an eyebrow to go with the lip.

Danny licked his own lips and averted his eyes from the distractingly sexy expression now aimed in his direction. "Okay, here's the thing: I want to… reciprocate."

"I beg your pardon?" Steve cocked his head forward.

Danny rolled his eyes. He spoke quickly, his voice low, trying to get it over with. "I wanna… suck your cock."

There was something in Steve's eyes that Danny couldn't remember having seen before and despite what he'd just said, it made him nervous.

He held up a finger and shook it shakily, swallowing uneasily. "There's just one condition, babe."

Steve's eyes didn't lose their intensity, but there was wariness there too now. "What's that?"

"Do you remember everything I said last night?"

Steve's eyes narrowed. "I don't know; maybe."

"I said it couldn't just be-"

"Fooling around?" Steve finished the sentence as a question.

"Yeah." Danny nodded. "That is…" He paused, trying to judge Steve's reaction before he made a mistake.

Steve blinked, looked away for a moment and then turned back, the intensity in his eyes practically glowing with the need Danny could now discern effortlessly. "I want that."

Danny shivered under the hungry expression being aimed at him, and nodded. "Me too."

This time, Steve didn't hesitate. He was back on the bed, pressing Danny back against the pillows as he claimed Danny's mouth. Within seconds, Danny felt his own erection returning at the insistence of Steve's hardness against his body, and he groaned into the overwhelming feeling of Steve's tongue delving into his mouth like a man on a mission to completely disarm his opponent.

And it was working.

Danny's desire was spiraling out of control and surprisingly, what he wanted the most was to get Steve's cock in his mouth. He couldn't say it was the first time he'd ever given head to a guy, but the last time had been way before Rachel, when he'd been going through an 'experimental' phase in college, and it had been very different to this. He and the other guy had been drunk and horny and far less interested in each other than Danny was in Steve right now.

"Can I?" He managed when his mouth was finally free from Steve's, gasping for air.

"God, yes," Steve growled, practically pushing him away and dragging his shorts off so his cock sprang free.

Danny didn't hesitate. He was on top of Steve, kissing his way down his muscular chest, appreciating the way he trembled as Danny's lips moved. And then he was there, Steve's heated cock bumping his chin. Danny looked up at Steve's face, a shiver of excitement running through him at the anticipation in Steve's dilated eyes. He lowered his mouth, wrapping a hand around the base of Steve's cock as he guided it past his lips. Steve's mouth formed a perfect 'O' as Danny began to suck, and he could feel the tension in his thighs as Steve held back from thrusting.

Danny lifted his head enough to say "Give it to me; all of it." Then he was back to sucking, his lips sliding back and forth over the first inch or so. He was no expert at this, but he knew from experience that the top inch or so was the most sensitive; what he wasn't sure of he hoped he could make up for in enthusiasm.

Steve groaned then, the vibrations of the action evident under the hand Danny had laid across his belly. It stirred Danny further and he doubled his efforts, saliva slopping wetly out of his mouth as he rode Steve's cock with his tongue and lips, desperate to give as good as he'd already received.

"Oh, Jesus, Danno… Danno," Steve moaned, shoving a fist into Danny's hair like he was trying to dislodge him.

But Danny hadn't been lying; he wanted it all. He shoved Steve's hand away, determinedly keeping Steve's cock in his mouth as Steve let out another low moan and spasmed under him, hot liquid bursting onto Danny's tongue as his own desire spiraled to meet the challenge. Danny swallowed convulsively without releasing Steve's dick, continuing to work him with both mouth and hand as Steve jerked, completely undone, beneath him.

Finally, Steve pushed at him again. "Danno, Danny. Stop, please… I'm gonna…" Steve couldn't even finish the words, but Danny got the picture and released his flaccid dick with a pop of his lips, flopping onto the bed next to him, his breathing harsh and his grin wide.

"Fuck…" Steve breathed, boneless on the bed next to him.

Danny turned towards him, taking a deep breath and patting Steve's heaving chest.

They lay still for several minutes, Danny's hand splayed across Steve's chest and his lips pressed to Steve's shoulder.

Steve moved first, turning his head and planting a kiss on Danny's forehead. "That was… fuck, Danny, I never guessed you could do that with your mouth."

Danny grinned into the skin under his lips. "You'd be surprised what I can do when I set my mind to it."

"God, yeah. I should… Jeez…"

"Don't worry about it," Danny murmured.

"You sure? I know I just blew you, but I know you got hard again…"

"Babe, it's taken care of, I promise you," Danny grinned at him.

"You mean you…? While you were…?"

"What goes around comes around, babe."

A surprised laugh burst out of Steve. "And how, Danno."

Danny laughed too, and pulled himself up to kiss Steve. It was sexy and slow and full of exactly the kind of feeling that Danny had somehow always known it would be. There would be no going back from this.

And if this was what they'd be doing in their down time from now on, Danny would definitely not be complaining.

~//~

END


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